my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I believe in your delicious
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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