You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
