Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
