This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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