dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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