i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
