I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
