The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
