How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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