Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
