Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
