what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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