Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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