i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
