my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You smell like stripper and shame
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
