Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
