So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
