my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
