Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You pole danced in your parka.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
