I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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