Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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