I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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