I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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