gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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