mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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