He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
