I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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