he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
