Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
