do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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