Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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