Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
