my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
