Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
