yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
