The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
