remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
