oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
