hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
