I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
