Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
