Soap is not a condiment
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
