On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I stole a fireplace last night.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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