Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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