Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
