Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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