just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
