I'm gonna have a badass scar
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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