I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
