True but thats because hes a fetus.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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