I'm eating all of the evidence.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
