i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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